Loving people who love us back is easy. But loving people who hurt us, oppose us, gossip about us, mistreat, or abuse us is not only hard, but can oftentimes seem impossible. Yet the Bible is clear about the fact that loving our enemies is not optional for Christians.
So, the questions to ponder are:
- What does it mean to love our enemies?
- Why does God call us to love our enemies?
- How can I love my enemies?
In this post, I will address these very questions, and provide five biblical ways to love your enemies as a Christian.
What Does it Mean to Love Our Enemies?
Learning to love our enemies (or anyone for that matter) starts with knowing what love is. Because I have already written a more detailed post on this topic (Loving Others as a Christian in Today’s Secular World), here I will only point out three key concepts regarding this:
1. God Himself is love. He is the definition and epitome of love, the creator and source of it, and the ultimate demonstrator of love!
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
1 John 4:7-10 NIV
2. It is ONLY God who can empower us as Christians, through His Holy Spirit, to love according to His standards:
- We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19 NIV
- For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
3. Since God is love and the creator and source of it, He is the only one with the authority to define how to demonstrate that love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV
To summarize, God demonstrated His love toward us and has commanded us and empowered us to demonstrate that same love toward others, including our enemies.
It doesn’t mean we have to be their best friend, but it does mean we are to extend the kind of love to them that God extended to us – compassion, patience and kindness, rather than jealousy, pride, and anger.
But Lord, why do we have to do this?
Why Does God Call Us to Love Our Enemies?
For starters, God calls us to love our enemies because we, too, were once enemies of God, yet God still expressed His love toward us:
And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.
Romans 5:9-11 NLT
Secondly, because God’s kingdom is NOTHING like the kingdom of this world. He calls us to much higher standards as Christians:
You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
Matthew 5:43-47 NIV
We all can quote the verse ‘love others, as I have loved you’. But too often, we only apply that to people we actually like. And Scripture says, even the non-Christians do that, so how does that make us any different?
To truly love ALL others as God loved us means remembering that God loved us while we were still sinners and enemies of His kingdom, and then being willing to show love to our enemies as well.
It is only when we have these spiritual truths in mind that we can even begin to think about how to walk in obedience to God’s command to love our enemies.
How Can I Love My Enemies?
As mentioned previously, loving our enemies doesn’t come naturally to our flesh, but it is made possible through the power of the Holy Spirit. When we choose obedience over emotion, we reflect Christ in ways that words alone never could.
So let’s dive into the five biblical ways to love our enemies. There are two things we shouldn’t do, and three things we should be doing when it comes to loving our enemies.
1. Don’t Seek Vengeance Against Your Enemies
One of the clearest things in Scripture is that vengeance belongs to God, not us. Seeking revenge may feel justified in the moment, but it always leads to further harm rather than healing.
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
Romans 12:17-19 ESV
Letting go of vengeance doesn’t mean pretending the hurt never happened. It means trusting God to be the righteous Judge while we focus on guarding our hearts. When we release the desire for revenge, we free ourselves from carrying a burden God never intended us to hold.
Even if presented with a clear opportunity to get vengeance, we should not see that as a “sign from God”. Trust me, it’s more likely a temptation from the devil than anything.
David is a perfect example of this. After being on the run for years from King Saul, who sought to kill him, he was presented with a literal opportunity to kill Saul. It was as if Saul was delivered right into David’s hands in a cave. And it would have been so easy for David to take that moment to rid himself of his enemy once and for all and claim the throne for which God had anointed him.
However, David also knew that it was sinful to kill the current king, who had also been anointed by God:
He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. The men said, “This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’” Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.” With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way.
1 Samuel 24:3-7 NIV
As tempting as it was, and as easy as it would have been, David yielded to the promptings of the Holy Spirit that convicted his conscience, and he remembered the Word of the Lord. He even rebuked the men of his army who thought it was a good idea to go ahead and kill Saul and take the throne.
If you know the full story, you know that Saul and his sons were eventually killed in a battle against the Philistines, and David eventually ascended to the throne as God intended.
David knew the throne was never his to take by force. God had anointed him King over Israel and God would bring him to that throne. In the same way, judgment is not ours to dish out nor vengeance ours to take. God has set every Christian apart for His purposes, and He will be our Judge and avenger.
The Lord is a God who avenges. O God who avenges, shine forth.
Psalm 94:1 NIV
It is not a guarantee that we will always see God’s vengeance and righteous judgment carried out on this side of heaven, but we can rest assured that it will be carried out in His time and in accordance with His will. In the meantime, we are commanded to show love to our enemies and trust in God’s righteous judgment.
2. Don’t Gloat Over the Demise of Your Enemies
When someone who has wronged us fails at something, faces consequences, has something bad happen to them, or even dies, our natural response might be a celebratory sense of satisfaction. But Scripture warns us against taking pleasure in another person’s downfall—even if they hurt us deeply.
Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the Lord see it and be displeased.
Proverbs 24:17-18 ESV
Gloating reveals a heart posture that is still entangled in pride and bitterness. Choosing compassion over celebrating our enemies’ downfall keeps our hearts soft and aligned with God’s mercy and grace toward us.
Let’s take a look at David’s reaction when he got the news of King Saul’s death:
David and his men tore their clothes in sorrow when they heard the news. They mourned and wept and fasted all day for Saul and his son Jonathan, and for the Lord’s army and the nation of Israel, because they had died by the sword that day.
2 Samuel 1:11-12 NLT
Although Saul was his enemy and had hunted David for years, he was still the King of Israel whom God had anointed, and David acknowledged this in both his heart and actions. He even wrote a funeral song for Saul and his sons (2 Samuel 1:17-27), which he commanded be taught to all the people of Judah. He did all of these things PRIOR to taking his rightful place on the throne as king.
Now, we may not cry, fast on behalf of, or honor our enemies if they were to die. It’s important to note that David was very close to Saul and his family for several years before things took a turn. David played the harp in Saul’s court, killed Goliath on behalf of the King and Israel, and fought in Saul’s army. Not to mention the fact that Saul’s son Jonathan was a very close friend of David.
The principle here is to be compassionate, recognizing that a life was lost and that loved ones were left behind.
To clarify even further, when God takes vengeance on our enemies and delivers justice on our behalf, it is not wrong to express gratitude to God or even praise Him for His righteous judgment. It is okay to be relieved and even comforted, especially if, like David, our lives were in danger:
- For you have rescued me from my troubles and helped me to triumph over my enemies. Psalm 54:7 NLT
- He is the God who pays back those who harm me; he brings down the nations under me and delivers me from my enemies. You hold me safe beyond the reach of my enemies; you save me from violent opponents. 2 Samuel 22:48-49 NLT
However, if those feelings of relief and gratitude turn into celebration or gloating over the destruction of our enemies, then we need to repent.
3. Let Your Light Shine in the Presence of Your Enemies
Loving your enemies doesn’t always require words. Oftentimes, it’s your consistent Christlike character that speaks the loudest. When you choose integrity, humility, and kindness in the presence of those who oppose you, God uses your light to expose darkness.
You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16 NIV
You may never get an apology or understanding from your enemies, but your obedience can still bring glory to God. Living differently—even when mistreated—shows that your hope, identity, and peace are rooted in Christ, not in how others treat you.
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
John 13:34-35 NIV
Letting our light shine looks like following Jesus’ example. It’s enduring all types of persecution and strife that may come our way.
It’s turning the other cheek; choosing not to slander someone all over social media, even after they have done nothing but slander you; walking away when they start cursing at you in a crowd, trying to get you to react; being the one in the group who stops the gossip mill and changes the subject when everyone else just wants to talk badly about the other person.
No one ever said loving our enemies would be easy. In fact, the bulk of what God calls us to do is not easy, which is why we need the power of the Holy Spirit to do it all.
Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.
John 15:5 NIV
We just have to learn to walk in the Spirit and not be led by our sinful emotions.
4. Kill Your Enemies With Kindness
The last thing we want to express to an enemy is kindness or any sense of servitude. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit empowers us to do this as well:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-24 NIV
Kindness has a way of disarming hostility. This doesn’t mean being naïve or allowing continued abuse or mistreatment from someone, but it does mean choosing goodness instead of bitterness whenever possible.
- On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:20–21 NIV
- If your enemy is hungry, give him food! If he is thirsty, give him something to drink! This will make him feel ashamed of himself, and God will reward you. Proverbs 25:21-22 TLB
Kindness doesn’t excuse wrong behavior—it reflects a transformed heart. When we respond with unexpected grace, we mirror the way God has treated us. Sometimes our kindness can lead to others’ repentance. Other times, it simply keeps our hearts free from bitterness and hatred. Either way, it is an expression of obedience to God, who has called us to walk in kindness towards everyone.
- Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Romans 12:14 NIV
- Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:12-13 NIV
Killing your enemy with kindness looks like giving them a genuine compliment, being generally polite, congratulating them on a recent accomplishment, helping them without being asked, listening patiently when they talk, or even buying them a cup of coffee.
I dare you to find two ways to express kindness and even be a blessing to an enemy this week.
5. Pray For Your Enemies
This may be the hardest, and yet most powerful way to love your enemies.
Prayer changes things, especially us. And there is nothing more humbling than praying for your enemies. When we pray for those who hurt us, God begins to soften our hearts and align our perspective with His.
Let’s look at a passage I referenced earlier:
You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Matthew 5:43-45 NIV
So what exactly do you pray for your enemies?
Pray for God to work on their hearts for change. If they are non-Christians, pray for their salvation because, ultimately, that is what they need the most.
When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
Proverbs 16:7 ESV
And in the instances where we need actual deliverance from our enemies, even then, we are to turn to God in prayer for them. We can ask God to stop their harmful actions and influence, and seek His justice, trusting Him to deal with them righteously.
- Lord, see how my enemies persecute me! Have mercy and lift me up from the gates of death. Psalm 9:13 NIV
- Deliver me from my enemies, O God; be my fortress against those who are attacking me. Psalm 59:1 NIV
Not only does doing this help our attitude towards our enemies, but it also ultimately helps us to place the entire situation into God’s hands, showing that we trust Him to work on their hearts.
Pray for Strength to Love Your Enemies
Loving your enemies is one of the clearest marks of spiritual maturity—and one of the most challenging commands Jesus gave us. You won’t always get it right, and that’s okay. What matters is your willingness to surrender your reactions, your pain, and your pride to God.
As you strive to love your enemies well, remember this: you are never more like Christ than when you choose love over retaliation. He has already given us everything we need to do this through the power of His Holy Spirit that lives within us.
By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.
2 Peter 1:3 NLT
Pray for God to change your heart and perspective regarding your enemies. Ask Him daily for the grace, strength, and humility to love your enemies—because with Him, even the seemingly impossible becomes possible.
For I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power.
Philippians 4:13 TLB
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Demetra is a busy, self-employed, single mom who loves Jesus and is a fanatic about prioritizing her time with God! She created In the Mirror of God to help other Christian women learn how regularly looking into our spiritual mirror (the Bible) equips us to cultivate a deeper relationship with God, think biblically about everything, conquer the challenges of everyday life, and truly enjoy life to the fullest, the way God intended. Go here to learn more about her story, or visit her contact page to send a quick message.
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